


Descending into Quiet

by moriartyswife



Category: Durarara!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 22:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9924173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriartyswife/pseuds/moriartyswife
Summary: I'd never wanted to come back to Ikebukuro. Crimes aside, because this city was full of gangs and it attracted dangerous people. It had many eyes and ears, passing information around. I wasn't quite ready for anyone to know I was here. The sooner this job is over the better. The last thing I need is for my brother, Izaya, to find out I'm back and that I'm living with Shizuo.





	1. Chapter 1

               I’d never wanted to come back to Ikebukuro. Yet, here I am, at 2 AM sitting on a park bench smack in the middle of the city. The bench wasn’t illuminated by any of the street lights, which gave me some comfort. Crimes aside, because this city was full of gangs and it attracted dangerous people, this town had many eyes and ears, passing information around. I wasn’t quite ready for anyone to know I was here.

               Shivering from the cold, I checked my phone. Mairu and Kururi usually tried to contact me via email almost every night. Mostly it was stupid and irrelevant information but I was happy that they seemed to be doing so well. Our parents were overseas for most of their lives, leaving Izaya and me to take care of them. But today, there was no email.

               A flash of light shone toward me caused my head to rise from the screen I had been staring at. Park Patrol. “Hey, you. This park is closed.”

               I slid my phone back into my jacket pocket. “I’m new here. I didn’t know,” I said, giving him my best smile.

               This man wasn’t a police officer. He looked to be in his mid-forties. Probably married with kids. “It’s not safe to be out in a dark place alone. Let me walk you back to your car.” Completely normal.

               He continued to talk and tell me about Ikebukuro and then himself. Kids, teenagers. One was a trouble maker and the other a straight-A student. His wife worked as a real estate agent. A cookie cutter family. Highly predictable. Boring as hell.

               After I’d drove away, I sighed. Work had brought me back here, but was this job worth it? I’d spent a long time erasing myself. From this town. From my brother. From everything. The light turning red allowed me to get a good look at the city. I’d left three years ago, it had continued on without me.

               Beside me, a rider on a black bike pulled up. Oddly, it didn’t sound like one. It had no sound at all. Strange. The rider sped off, keeping my attention until the car behind me beeped. This town had definitely changed.

               I found a place to park my car for a while. Not many people were out, so it should be safe enough to walk around and find a place to eat. Cash was tight until I finished this job, but a girl’s gotta eat. Some shops I remembered as a kid had been demolished and replaced with new buildings, but the vibe of the city had stayed the same.

               “Miss! Come get good sushi! We open late! Cheap prices!” A Russian man called out to me. When I realized, he was looking straight at me, I tensed up. This man was tall and dangerous, but had the most inviting smile. I allowed myself to like him because of it.

               “I love sushi,” I replied with a smile.

               He told me his name was Simone but everyone called him Simon. He held the door open for me and took my coat, directing me to sit the counter. This place was new. But it felt like it belonged in Ikebukuro.

               I hesitated when my eyes fell on the only other person sitting at the counter. Shizuo Heiwajima. We’d gone to high school together. His hatred for Izaya hadn’t affected our friendship. With a shake of my head, I slid into the chair next to him. He probably won’t even remember me. I’d cut my long black hair up to right above my shoulders.

               “What kind of sushi do you like?” The Russian man behind the counter asked, cooking some meat that I wasn’t sure should qualify as such.

               “Crab, if you have any.” I rubbed my hands together to keep from looking over at Shizuo.

               The smell of a cigarette hit me and then, “Jori?”

               I met Shizuo’s stare. “Hey.” I smiled awkwardly. Never mind. He does remember.

               “Hey? That’s all you can say? Some people thought you were dead. Where the hell have you been?” He asked. His casual tone almost made me laugh. He’d made it sound like this was an ordinary conversation.

               “Here and there,” I answered, taking a bite of the sushi plate that was set in front of me. Not the best sushi I’d ever had but I knew I shouldn’t complain. There’d been plenty of nights where I hadn’t had the luxury of eating anything.

               Shizuo raised an eyebrow. “Vague, but okay. Can I ask what brought you back?”

               “Probably best that you don’t. I like to keep my work private.” I flashed a smile. It felt like no time had passed since we last talked. “Are you bartending now?”

               Shizuo relaxed, laughing a little. “Not anymore, but my brother bought this for me and I want to wear it.” He adores his little brother.

               “It looks good on you,” I said, taking another bite of sushi. We both grew up from the crazy high school kids we used to be.

               “You haven’t changed, Jori,” Shizuo commented with a chuckle. He snuffed out his cigarette and stood up. “I’ll see you around. It’s good that you’re back.”

               Good that I’m back? Before I could question him, Simon came running in out of breath. “Miss Jori! Your car is towed! I try to stop it but no good.”

               “What? No way. Shit.” My chair scrapped the floor as I jumped up. From the edge of the sidewalk, I watched the tow truck disappear with my car. “Fantastic.” My home just rolled away.

               “It’s okay. Tomorrow you go get it back. No worries!” Simon tried to make it better but failed.

               I ran my hand through my hair and stuck some cash in his hand and thanked him for the meal. The cool air stung my skin as I walked down the street to the nearest bench. It constantly reminding me that I had nowhere to go. I’d end up sleeping out here in it. Every breath I let out hung in the air.

               With my hands stuffed in my pockets, I bounced my legs up and down to attempt to warm myself. One option was to sleep on the street. The other… I could call Izaya. With enough groveling, I’m sure he’d let me crash with him. No part of me was prepared to do that. And I most definitely didn’t want to. I let my head fall back and Shizuo looked down at me.

               “Let me guess, you’re living out of your car?” He asked.

               At least I could blame the cold weather for the redness I knew just appeared on my cheeks. “It’s no big deal.” That answer had become habit. I didn’t like handouts or feeling weak. “Those will kill you one day.”

               Shizuo stopped before lighting his cigarette. “So will sleeping on the street in this weather. If you need a place to stay, you can come to mine.” Before I could mutter a refusal, he said, “What? You have a better offer?’

               With a sigh, I shook my head. One night won’t hurt anyone. “Fine, but you have to let me repay you somehow.” I hated to be indebted to someone, even an old friend. That kind of thing can get you killed.

               With a nod, Shizuo lit his cigarette before heading away from town with me right beside him. Thankfully, he didn’t make any unneeded conversation. The comfortable silence felt familiar and safe. Shizuo lived on the third floor of a small apart building. It had two bedrooms, but one was overrun of half unpacked boxes. The rest of his house, minimally decorated, with a little bit of mess everywhere.

               “The bedroom is all yours. I never use it,” Shizuo said and plopped onto the couch. He turned the tv on and set his cigarette down. He looked exhausted so I decided to just go to the room. There was no reason to argue with him, because it would do no good. He could be stubborn. Plus, I missed sleeping in a bed.

               Tomorrow, I’d get my car back, get this job started and finished by the end of the week, and then I’d leave this town… before anyone realized I’d even been here, especially Izaya. Being discrete was part of the job, but here, I’d have to be practically invisible. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I pulled the locket out from my shirt. Would mom and dad be proud of what their eldest children had become? Izaya had become an information broker. And me? I was so much worse than that.


	2. Chapter 2

               Shizuo had left by the time I woke in the morning. Rubbing my eyes, they took a minute to focus on the clock by his bed. 11 AM. Sleeping this late never happened anymore. Maybe a result of sleeping in an actual bed. Hotels were too expensive and the risk of being found grew too high for me to stay in one. Wasting money on those places would have left me stranded a long time ago.

               Wasting no time, I went straight to the towing company. Getting my home back was priority one. The place wasn’t packed, but I had to wait ten minutes behind some gross looking broad with too much make up on. She had wrecked her car in some traffic accident. She gave me a dirty look as I tapped my foot impatiently on the ground. When it was finally my turn, my mouth dropped open when the man told me how much it would cost. “80,000 yen?! Are you serious?”

               The others sitting in the grungy waiting room looked over at us curiously. The mechanic sitting behind the desk scratched the back of his head with his grubby, oil stained hands. Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “The registration is overdue and there’s no insurance. The best I can do for you without the cash is get your belongings.” When I didn’t respond right away, he snapped his fingers at me. “Do you want your stuff?”

               I had to use the rest of my cash to get a cab. Four suitcases came out of my trunk. The man graciously gave me two boxes that threatened to break apart to carry the rest of the junk that I’d accumulated in my car. The driver did help me to carry it inside the apartment. Too bad I couldn’t afford a good tip.

               Angrily, I shoved up the sleeves of my navy shirt and got busy cleaning. Repaying Shizuo wouldn’t be easy, but I could start with this, seeing how I was about to ask for a longer stay. I unpacked all the boxes and organized both the bedrooms. The trash got deposited outside in the dumpster. Dusted. Swept. Moped. Vacuumed. Everything looked spotless, like he’d just moved in. The issue now was that my stomach growled so loudly I’m sure the other floors heard it.

               This late in the day, I could probably make dinner for the two of us. Izaya had always been better at cooking than me. He used to laugh at how hard it was for me, and then attempt to teach me. Everyone I know dislikes him, but he was a pretty good brother for all the crap we dealt with as kids.

               Now look at us.

               The amount of food in Shizuo’s fridge surprised me. He didn’t strike me as the type to be home cooking meals. Yet there were plenty of fresh vegetables and even some beef for a stew. Dicing up the onion took more concentration that I thought it would. The sound of the front door slamming into the wall startled me, causing me to slice my hand from my index finger to my thumb. “Shit!”

               “I’m just saying you could have gone easy on him,” A man said. His voice I didn’t recognize. Shizuo rounded the corner with this man, who sported dreads. “Who’s the chick?”

               Jerking the hand towel off the counter, I cursed repeatedly under my breath. Blood had already dripped onto the floor.

               “Jori Orihara. We went to high school together,” Shizuo took his sunglasses off, concern in his eyes. “You okay?”

               “Orihara? Any relation to that info broker? I’m Tom, by the way,” Tom said, sitting down at the counter. He watched me closely. Guess he knows my brother, and probably has issues with him. Izaya tended to have that effect on people.

               “It’s just a cut,” I hissed out, trying to put pressure on it. I wasn’t squeamish but damn it hurt. The kitchen light shadowed, making me look up.

               Shizuo towered over me. He held my wrist and lifted the towel. Shaking his head slowly, he said, “Just a cut, huh? You need stitched, Jori. It’s deep.” He inspected the still bleeding gash in my hand.

               “The hospital is-”

               I cut Tom off. “No hospitals.” Hospitals required information, and there are way too many security cameras. Without the proper precautions, I’d be found in seconds. The odds of them calling my parents or the cops were high, which would in turn alert Izaya to my whereabouts.

               Shizuo nodded slowly. “I know an underground doctor who could stitch you up.”

               Underground doctor? That sounds sketchy. It didn’t seem like Shizuo was going to let this go, so we took a long trip across town to some apartment building. Shizuo and Tom were really chatty, telling me about their job as debt collectors, things I’d missed since I’d left, and even the damn weather. It began to get on my nerves. This is why I work alone. They were giving me headache.

               Outside the apartment door, Shizuo knocked. How does he know this person? He isn’t the friend making type. My eyes widened as my mind pieced it all together. Dammit Shizuo! “No! No way! I’d rather bleed out.” Before I could make a break for the stairs, Shizuo grabbed me around the waist. “Let me go! I don’t want to see him!”

               “Hey Celty, Is Shinra here?” Shizuo asked.

               No one responded but he carried me into the apartment, despite my struggling. I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear her name. Of course, they’re living together. Maybe they’re married already. Shinra always did love her more than anyone else in the world. It didn’t’ make it hurt any less.

               “Shizuo!” I whisper yelled. Whistling came from the living room. My heart dropped.

               “Hey doc, I’ve got a patient for you,” Shizuo said, rounding the corner. “Needs stitches.” He set me down but didn’t let go.

               Shinra sat at a long desk, typing on his computer. He looked just the same as I remembered. Brown messy hair. Twiggy body. Shit, it hurt more than I thought it would to see him again. He pushed his glasses up onto his face and swiveled around in the chair. “Any friend of Shizuo’s is wel-” His sentence cut short as he met my gaze. “Jori?”

               Shizuo pushed me forward. “I’m going to get a drink.” He slid the glass door shut, leaving the two of us alone.

               The awkwardness hung in the air, making me uncomfortable. It took much longer than it should have for me to find some words. “You got taller,” I said, unsure of how to speak properly.

               “You cut your hair off again,” Shinra replied, standing up. He reached up to touch the black curls that hung down around my neck but didn’t reach my shoulders. A mixture of emotions were on his face, but he smiled. “Can I look at your hand?” Shinra gently held my wrist.

               With a nod, I turned my head to see what the others were doing. Staring at us. Great. Celty typed on her phone, holding it out to Shizuo, who nodded and shrugged his shoulders. What was he thinking, bringing me to see Shinra? The towel had stuck to the wound. As Shinra pulled it off, I bit my lip to keep from complaining.

               “Shizuo was right. You need stitches. Sit,” Shinra said. He never let go of my hand while I said in his chair. He dug around in his bag after pulling up the second chair to sit in front of me. “I thought I might never see you again.”

               He took some antiseptic on a cotton ball and started to clean off the dried blood. He held onto my wrist tight, not commenting on my small attempt to pull my hand back. It stung. “I hadn’t planned on coming back.”

               Shinra sighed, numbing my hand to start on the stitches. “That’s probably my fault. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the way things ended. I never meant for—”

               “It’s in the past,” I cut him off and waved my free hand to stop him. Please stop. I can’t handle all these feelings resurfacing.

               He shook his head with a laugh. “And yet, Shizuo had to carry you in.” His joke was laced with hurt. When I didn’t answer, he focused on the stitches, taking care to make sure it was done right. He’d always been good at fixing up my wounds.

               Once it was wrapped, I stood. “Thanks for the stitches.”

               “Jori wait!”

               My hand hovered over the door handle. Shinra… “We can’t change what happened, Shinra. You chose Celty, like you always said you would. Let’s just leave it there, okay?” We weren’t teenagers anymore. There’s no need for drama. I smiled a little. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

               “You should be happy too,” Shinra said.

               Laughing off his comment, I opened the door. It pulled at my heart strings, but if I lingered too long on it, something could happen. The three in the kitchen stopped talking, staring at me. Not good. “Shinra says I’ll live,” I joked, trying to diffuse the tension. I’d never been good with people, or awkward situations. Glancing around the room, I said, “you asked me earlier if I was related to an info broker.”

               Tom sat up straighter, nodding his head. “Yes.”

               “Izaya is my brother.”

               None of the them reacted for a solid thirty seconds. Celty typed on her phone, holding it out to me. _Izaya is your brother?!_

               I nodded. “Yes. He doesn’t know I’m in town and I’d like to keep it that way.” I’m sure Celty knows him. She seems like the kind of thing that would interest Izaya and he’d keep her around for his own amusement.

               Tom took a long sip of his water. “He’s good at his job, I’ll give him that. How are you going to stay off his radar?”

               Asking the real questions, I see.

               The only way would be to work at night and get this job over and done with. Then, I could skip town and disappear again. I’d already made too many connections, or reconnections. It had been easier to leave back then because of Shinra. But now? Could I throw it all away again?

               “You’re planning on leaving again, aren’t you?” Shinra asked. “Whatever brought you back to Ikebukuro isn’t enough to make you stay.” He’d always been able to read me better than most.

               Frowning, I replied, “Something like that.”

               “If it’s Izaya you’re worried about, everyone hates him, so we’ll keep you safe—” Shizuo started. This crap again. Like I need to be protected from my own brother. It isn’t like that.

               “I’ve told you before, I don’t hate my brother. I never have.” My words shut them all up. No one really knew what to say. Sighing, I headed for the balcony. “I need some fresh air.”

               Outside, I watched the city below. A light breeze blew through. The people of ikebukuro bustled about, to and from work or school. Even from up here, I could spot humans who were from all walks of life. Izaya used to play a game where we’d watch people and guess their secrets. He’d show me what to look for. Tells, habits, all kinds of things. I’d learned a lot from him.

               A finger tapped on my shoulder. Celty stood behind me, typing on her phone. _Hi… Jori right? Can we talk?_

               “If it’s about my brother-”

               She shook her… neck? Body? It seemed like her head but she didn’t have one. She typed again. _Shinra._

Oh.

               “What about him?” I asked, the nerves rising again. Shinra probably never told her about us. It would have been a mess. He and I had a complicated relationship and then I’d disappeared after it all went up in flames. That wasn’t something he would want to share with his love.

               Celty took her time typing, backspacing, and retyping. Over. And over. It bothered me, so the next time she paused, I took the phone out of her hand. _What happened between you two?_

               My eyes lifted to watch her. If it were possible, I’d say she was blushing. She must love him as much as he loves her. “Nothing happened. We were just friends,” I said with as much of a smile as I could.

               We’d been more than friends in my eyes, but I’d known since the very beginning that Shinra would never love me back. So, I kept my feelings lock inside. Izaya had been the one to tell him, and that’s when things started to crumble around me. But it had all been my fault. Since we’d met in middle school, I’d set myself up to be hurt, like I always did. And I’d made Shinra a hero.


	3. Chapter 3

Flashback: Middle School, First Year

               

                “We’re going to be late,” Izaya said from my doorway. He had his school bag tossed over his shoulder and a frown on his face. He’d been frowning more and more often these days. The latest reason was our parents leaving again, which left me and Izaya to take care of Mairu and Kururi. They were four years old. Our “grandmother” left us a credit card and never checked on us.

                Jerking my arm into the sleeve, I huffed. “Like you really care. Kururi threw her milk at me. I have to change.” With half my buttons undone, I threw my hair up into a loose ponytail. In my frenzy, I’d lost my own school bag. When I whirled around, frustrated, Izaya had left his viewing spot and stood in front of me.

                “You’re a mess, Jori,” he said, with a small smirk. After setting down both our bags, he pulled my shirt together to finish buttoning it.

                My cheeks grew hot and I turned my head away. “I am not. I just don’t want to go to this middle school.” I hated the idea of having to go to this school. Maybe this was the world telling me not to go. Nothing had gone right today.

                “Neither do I, but we have to. I’m leaving so if you want to walk with me, you’d better get moving,”Izaya said, tossing his bag back over his shoulder. He didn’t wait for me to answer.

                I gave the neighbor cash for taking the twins to preschool. She was an older woman who’s kids moved out a few years ago. Empty nest syndrome or whatever. At least I didn’t have to worry about getting them there. Jogging down the steps, I caught up to my brother.

                It was unusual for him to be so quiet. Either he’d be telling me about something interesting that he’d seen on the news, or he’d be pointing out things about the people we passed on the street. Any way I looked at it, Izaya was acting weird. Trying to ignore it, I chalked it up to him being moody because of school.

                This year, we weren’t in the same class. Guess that means I’ll have to fend for myself. In primary school, no one really bothered me. They were all terrified of my brother. Izaya looked like an easy target because of his size, but they quickly learned that he could be lethal.

                I stopped at the door to my class. Before the words even left my mouth, Izaya held up his hand. “Stay out of trouble.” Then, he left me to go to his own class. Did he look relieved that we weren’t together?

                Shaking off the thought, I found an empty desk between the window and a weird kid with a mole. Keeping my gaze out the window, through the reflection, I could see this boy staring at me. No way. Not in the mood for conversation. My body language conveyed that, but a moment later, a finger tapped on my shoulder.

                “Hi,” he said, awkwardly, leaning away at my glare. “I’m Nakara. I don’t think we went to the same primary school.”

                “Nope,” I answered.

                “Well… I think you’re really cute and—”

                Thank god the teacher walked in was what I thought at the time. In that moment, I had no idea how this 30 year old man would affect me so strongly. He wasn’t unattractive. Maybe a little more than average. I should have seen it. Izaya would have. From the first day, things progressed too far. It started with his eyes always on me, but as the day progressed, he became bolder. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he’d lean down close and explain things to me personally.

                When the bell rang at the end of the day, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The cool air outside the building felt good. After a good amount of time, I heard Izaya arguing with someone, another boy. He was lanky with brown hair and square glasses. Laughter bubbled up inside me.

                “But if I find someone else, and they really like biology, that’s not gonna work for me. I don’t want to do projects all the time, know what I mean?” The boy asked. Biology?

                Izaya’s annoyed expression amused me, earning a glare. “I’m confused. Do you like biology or not?”

                “Well.. if you wanna know the truth, I don’t even wanna be in a club. The girl I love said, “Shinra, you don’t have any friends. Why don’t you join a club?” and here we are.” Shinra laughed nervously. He’s recruiting my brother because of some girl he likes?

                Izaya shot daggers at me when I laughed at his new friend. “Let’s go, Jori.” He’s resorted to completely ignoring the other boy.

                The poor kid wasn’t done. He ran in front of us to stop Izaya. “Anyway, you’d be perfect. I don’t care that you aren’t into it. In fact, I like that about you.” Shinra clapped his hands together and dropped his head, practically begging. “Please? We’ll have fun looking for Suchinokos.”

                “No thanks. Biology clubs don’t do that anyway,” Izaya answered, leaving me stranded with this Shinra kid.

                Shinra’s attention turned to me, sad, like a lost puppy. “Are you Izaya’s twin?”

                Sighing, I answered, “I get that a lot, but no. I’m actually a year younger than he is. Why do you want Izaya to join your club?” I asked, genuinely interested. Of all people. Izaya. Holding back my laughter, I waited.

                Shinra shrugged. “I don’t know. He likes people and neither of us will be fully invested in this club—”

                As he droned on, my teacher caught my attention. He’d exited the building and walked toward us. Nervousness took over and instinctively, I stepped away and right into Shinra. “Uh, sorry,” I muttered. This man is dangerous. All the warning alarms went off in my head.

                “You okay… Jori, right? Something wrong? You look kind of pale,” Shinra said, concerned.

                As the man got closer, I couldn’t fight the urge to run. “Sorry. I have to go. Izaya’s… probably…” Unable to come up with a proper excuse, I ran to get off school grounds. Out of breath, I tried to slow my racing heart when I caught up with Izaya.

                “What’s wrong with you?” Izaya asked, analyzing me. His eyes watched my every move, searching for an answer.

                I’d gotten good at hiding my emotions from him. Straightening up, I relaxed my shoulders. “Nothing. You left me with that Shinra kid. He a new friend of yours?” This was my problem. I can’t rely on him to take care of me forever. Besides, who knows how he’d react.

                “You’re avoiding my question.”

                “No, I’m not. I said nothing is wrong. You know I hate running and you abandoned me with that weird kid,” I replied with a shrug.

                Thankfully, he dropped the issue. It never occurred to me that telling him would have made things much easier. My brother might be a total asshole to pretty much everyone he meets, but he’d always taken care of me… in his own way. It was clear to me that this teacher and I would have to deal with this inappropriate relationship. It turned out to be much more difficult than I ever imagined.


	4. Chapter 4

               My phone buzzed in my pocket. There was a text message from my boss. New job. An Awakusu was getting close to one of their drop off locations and there’s been word of a raid happening tonight. Protect the cargo, keep the workers in the dark, and kill anyone who steps inside the building. Sighing, I slid the door open. “Thanks for the stitches. I have to go to work… so, bye, I guess.”

               “Work?” Shizuo asked, standing from the stool at the table.

               I nodded. “Yeah, don’t know when I’ll be done. Don’t wait up for me.” Before anyone could ask any dangerous questions, I left.

               Stepping out into the dark streets, the cool air froze my skin. With my hands stuffed into my pockets, I set out to prepare for the job. Re-reading the instructions and committing them to memory was easy. The time now was almost 10 PM. We’d been at Shinra’s for longer than I thought. Having to be at the warehouse at midnight didn’t give me a lot of time to get ready.

               I made a pit stop by Shizuo’s apartment to change into my black jeans, gray shirt, and black jacket. Slipping my feet into my black boots that had laces all the way up to my knees, I began to formulate my plan, and gather the weapons that might be needed, like my gun with the silencer screwed into it, and a few knives hidden on my person.

               Then I was on my way.

               Even though I had my own car, or at least I used to, still, my preference remained the same. Walking to my location was the safest way to get around. Getting caught is much harder on foot. Sticking to backroads and alleyways kept my identity hidden. The last thing I need was an image of me plastered all over the news. Not only would the police be after me, but Izaya would know about me, too.

               This specific warehouse operated on a skeleton crew at night, which was good news. It made it easy to stay out of sight. A quick walk around the building told me that there were only two entrances. One for personnel, and one for the trucks, limiting the raids entry point. If they were here to steal the cargo, they’d need an oversized truck to transport it. It only took about an hour for them to show up. Their truck engine was quieter than I’d expected, but still loud enough to alert me.

               It was a small group, around seven. The team wasn’t as skilled as me. Maybe because they thought no one would interrupt? The Awakusu were a group not to be trifled with by any means, but my skills far exceeded theirs. Dragging the last body out of sight, I dialed Jet’s number. “It’s done. I need a cleanup.”

               His husky voice laughed in my ear. “Did you leave any of them alive for me?”

               “No.”

               “Aw, Jori. You take the fun out of my job?” Again, he laughed. “I’ll be there in ten.”

               Ten minutes? He must be in town then. Sometimes it took hours for him to arrive at the scene. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and waited impatiently. Some workers came in our direction, but the dead bodies went unnoticed. Or, if they did notice, they didn’t comment on it. Finally, Jet arrived to take care of the mess.

               He slid on his black gloves. “Is that truck out there theirs, too?”

               I nodded my head. “Get rid of it too.”

               Jet laughed and lifted one of the bodies with little effort. “I’m not getting rid of anything. My orders are to send it back to the Awakusu. A message not to mess with us again.”

               “What? They want to start a war with them?” I asked. This is not good. If that happens, who knows what will go down. I don’t want to be killed in a war that could have been avoided. Plus, they could go after the twins. Mairu and Kururi. Part of me was even worried about Izaya, though he is the strongest of us all.

               “If a war begins, it’ll be because the Awakusu are idiots,” Jet said with a sour tone. He stopped what he was doing and approached me. “You’ve got that dear in headlights look again. You’re on the right side, the winning side.” Jet pulled me close, wrapping both his arms around me. He dropped his head to whisper into my ear. “And you know what they’ll do to you if you try to leave the organization. Those two pretty twins would fetch quite the price, either sold together or apart. They’ll be tormented, used, drugged up, and maybe even cut into bits.”

               I shoved him back, landing a solid punch to his jaw. “Do _not_ threaten me, Jet.”

               Jet licked the blood off his split lip, chuckling again. “You, on the other, have been promised to me.” He smirked as the information registered on my face. “I paid quite the price for the deal that should you betray us, I get to own you.”

               Schooling my features, I rolled my eyes. “That’s money wasted. I won’t betray the organization. This is the only place for me.” I don’t belong in the real world. I’m a world class criminal who climbed the ladder to the top, and there isn’t a way out. As much as I knew Jet liked to torment me, I knew the likelihood of his words coming true was high, should I ever want to leave. But, I have no where else to go.

               “The boss will like hearing that. You should tell him the next time you’re in his office paying your “respect”.” Jet winked at me.

               Having enough of his game, I pointed to the dead bodies. “Finish your job. I’m going.” There isn’t any reason for me to stick around. Clean up isn’t my job.

               Leaving Jet to finish, I walked back toward the city. The lights were bright, even this far out. Somewhere in there, my sisters were sleeping in their apartment. Izaya was probably causing problems for everyone. He enjoyed that sort of thing. My family had lived here for a long time. So, why does this place hold nothing for me? My most vivid experiences in this town were of fear, heartbreak, and a desire to leave.

               Returning to Shizuo’s apartment, I kicked off my boots at the door, shielding a yawn with my hand. The small space was quiet. Not even the tv had been turned on. Shizuo must still be out. Shrugging my shoulders, another yawn slipped out. “I need a shower.” That should help me to relax after Jet made it a point to threaten me. It must have been ordered from the boss, because this is my hometown.

               The door flung open behind me. “Stupid Fleabag!” Shizuo mumbled, and then locked eyes with me in a state of shock, like he’d forgotten that I was staying here. His gaze dropped down to the gun in my hand. “Jori.” He paused for a moment, wanting me to speak but I couldn’t. “What have you gotten yourself into?”

               Shit.

               Shit. Shit. Shit!

               Hiding the weapon behind my back. I laughed nervously, waving my free hand in dismissal. “It’s nothing. I…” Looking anywhere but him, I racked my brain for an excuse. “Shooting… range.”

               Sliding his blue sunglasses off his face, Shizuo placed his hand on top of my head as he passed me. “You don’t have to tell me, but don’t lie to me, either.” Continuing into the living room, he collapsed on the couch, turning on the tv to let the news play in the background.

               I stood in that spot, frozen, for longer than I should have. My legs felt mechanical as I moved into the bedroom. Disarming the weapon, taking the silencer off, and placing it back into it’s locked case, took little time. My mind blanked. By the time I realized it, I’d already sat down in the recliner by the couch, staring at him. “Sh-Shizuo…”

               Shizuo took up the entire length of the couch with his lanky body, his feet propped up on the arm at the other end. He’d always been tall, but in the time I’d been gone, it seemed like he’d gotten even taller. Or maybe it’s just that time has passed, and he doesn’t look like a rough teenager anymore. The teenager I gave up for a boy that would never truly love me. Shizuo tilted his head back to look at me. “You’ve always kept your life private, even in high school.  I had no idea about that dirt bag teacher until Shinra told me after you disappeared.”

               We’re not going to talk about the gun? Or where I’ve been?

               “If I’d told you, you’d have gone and done something stupid, like try and be the hero,” I joked, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my chin on them.

               Shizuo lit a cigarette, blowing out the smoke. “It started long before you knew me. That fleabag brother of yours didn’t do anything to stop it.” His hatred for Izaya never dulls. It was a little comforting to know that hadn’t changed.

               Sighing, I replied, “I didn’t tell him. He’d ask, every now and again, if something was wrong. But, I would always say it was nothing. It wasn’t his problem to deal with. I knew I couldn’t rely on Izaya to swoop in and save his weak little sister.” Shizuo went quiet, clearly wanting me to tell him about what happened.

               “Taking matters into my own hands had gone wrong. Very wrong.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a public service announcement about the nature of this chapter. There is unpleasant things that happen in this chapter. Please read with caution.

Flashback: Raira Academy High School, First Year

1 Month into the Year:

 

               This had become routine. He didn’t ask for me to stay after class out loud anymore. It was unspoken, and I’d grown too afraid to anger him by trying to leave. Instead, at the end of class, I would take a long time to revise my notes. The other students left quickly, none of them caring about the strange girl that sat at the back of the class.

               The door slid closed with a loud thud that made my heard pound. It felt like a prison cell being locked. Mr. H sat down at his desk, sorting through the pop quiz papers from the beginning of class. He sat there for a while, not acknowledging my presence. He flipped a page over loudly, and drummed his fingers on the desk slowly, methodically.

               So, I stayed quiet, scribbling notes that didn’t actually need to be rewritten.

               My heart jumped to my throat as Mr. H scraped his chair as he stood. His heavy steps echoed in the empty classroom, getting closer and closer. Squeezing my pencil tight, my body tensed… until he passed me, going to the large locker cabinet in the back.

               This is how he always operated. Stalking around the room like a lion playing with his prey. Each time he slid an item around, or slammed one down, I could feel his eyes on me, watching for the reaction. My first year in middle school had been a nightmare with him but moving up to the second-year classroom had given me some breathing room, although he stalked me then too. But, not as often. After another year, I had finally escaped him by moving to an academy across town.

               Things never play out the way I want them to.

               Mr. H had gotten transferred to this school. He’d specifically requested for me to be moved to his class. He’d laughed at my reaction on the first day, welcoming me warmly into the room. I remember standing at the door, hopelessly alone. Even sitting in the back hadn’t saved me from his watchful eyes. Anytime I did something he didn’t like, after class, he’d be sure to give me a lesson on proper behavior.

               Lost in my thoughts, I nearly fainted when his hands slammed onto my desk. He leaned over from behind, trapping me between his arms. His hot breath was against my ear. “Jori, I’m going to take you somewhere special today. Meet me by the front gate in fifteen minutes. Don’t be late.” He kissed my ear. “And don’t tell anyone. You know what’ll happen if you do.”

               Yes, I do remember. He’d found out the location of the school my twin sisters went to. He’d threatened to make them disappear. So, I nodded my head in silent submission. My throat felt so dry, I doubted that I could speak. My body relaxed when he’d left the room, and I laid my head on my desk, reveling in the silence.

               “Hey Jori!” Shinra’s voice startled me and he laughed with a big smile. He’s always so loud. “Sorry! I saw you sitting here and you looked so sad.” He’d somehow befriended my brother. Izaya complained a lot about him, but he still hung around Shinra, who is an odd one.

               My eyes went wide. D-Did he see? “I was alone.” The words didn’t sound right, like I was trying to convince him that was the truth. If he saw, then Mr. H would…

               Shinra pulled out the chair from the desk in front of me. “That’s why I thought you looked sad, because you’re always alone.” We weren’t really friends. He just talked to me sometimes because I’m Izaya’s sister.

               Taking a deep breath of relief, I started to pack up all my things. “Just revising some notes before I head home. Since Izaya and you started that club, all the responsibility of the twins falls on me.” That excuse worked for everything. No one would question me going to care for my sisters. Standing from the seat, that had reminded me to text our babysitter. She would stay late if I paid her double for her time.

               “Right, right, that makes sense,” Shinra said, following behind me like an irritating lost dog. He went off into a tangent about the club he had started with my brother, but never noticed my disinterest. Whatever club they were in was a front for something else. Izaya brought home way too much money from it. “Do you want to go out with me?”

               I stopped, slowly turning my head to look at him. “What?” Did he just ask me out?

               Shinra blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You see there’s this girl I’m in love with and I want our first real date to be perfect. So, I was wondering if you had free time, I could practice with you.” It didn’t sound like he knew how horrible that would make me feel. That’s all anyone wants from me. Is to use me.

               In a moment of rage, I smacked him. “That’s a stupid thing to ask a girl,” I snapped, tears pooling in my eyes. It’s not like I have feelings for him. But for whatever reason, my heart ached in my chest. That must be the only thing I’m good for. Being a substitute for someone else. Being used for someone else’s pleasure.

               Turning on my heel, I walked away from the speechless Shinra. By the time I’d reached the front gate, I had almost forgotten that Mr. H was waiting there. It only made my heart drop in terror. How did I end up stuck in this situation? Keeping my head down, I kept pace with him in the opposite direction of my home.

               Mr. H’s apartment was larger than one would imagine for someone living off a teacher’s salary. He led me inside, straight to an office. His breathing had sped up and he licked his lips. “It’s too bad I couldn’t be promoted to an office like this at the school. Then I would have had the privacy that we needed.” The classroom had been too dangerous, he’d tell me. We’d only gone so far as oral.

               His hand on my back, he guided me across the room to the desk. “Sit,” he patted the empty spot on top. When I hesitated, he began to laugh. “Did you call the babysitter? What’s her name, uh… Sadoka Miyuzaki?”

               That was all the threat that I needed. A month back, I had changed babysitters just to get him away from the twins. How he found out about that so quickly, I didn’t know. Although we hadn’t had intercourse yet, he had done this part to me a thousand times. He’s greasy hands would tie some rope around my wrists and secure to a hook on the back of the desk. My skin crawled at his touch, much like it did in the beginning.

               For a while, I had become desensitized to it. He’d do the same thing each time. But now that we were in the privacy of his home, a whole new level of fear grew in me. This disgusting man before me had heavy breaths, already excited about this. He would unbutton the top as fast as he could, ruining yet another bra with the quick snip of a pair of scissors. Sliding his hands down to my thighs, he flipped the skirt up and removed my underwear. This pervert shouldn’t be in a school. High school girls were his type. The uniform turned him on.

               “I hate to rush, but I’ve been waiting over two years for this. After the summer break, after I’d seen how much you’d… developed, I couldn’t wait any longer,” he said, unbuckling his belt and dropped his pants and boxers. Using one hand to rub himself, he used his free hand to stick two fingers inside me. “This is all the warm up we’ll get. I could release from just looking at you, Jori. You’re beautiful.”

               Beautiful?

               Revolting.

               Disgusting.

               Filthy.

               Used.

               Trash.

               Those were the words I’d use to describe myself. Anything but beautiful. Not after those hands had forced so many things on me.

               Without so much as a warning, he shoved himself into me, moaning as he did. It stuck, having trouble going in dry. He grunted and rocked his hips again. “God, you’re so tight.”

               As quiet as I’d always been for him, this pain had me crying and pleading. “Stop! It hurts!” As many times he’d used his fingers to force an orgasm out of me, I knew what it felt like to be wet. That was not how I felt right now.

               Mr. H shook his head, replying, “Shut up. You’re fine! It’ll feel good.” Thrusting his hips forward hard again, he got it in further. He froze, shaking a little and moaning loudly. He’d already ejaculated once. “Damn. Good thing I’m not a one-time guy, huh, Jori?”

               My arms ached from how much I jerked them. My right shoulder threatened to dislocate. Hot tears spilled over, rolling down the sides of my face. I don’t want it to feel good! “Stop! Stop!” I shouted, sobs racking my body. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

               He shoved a hand over my mouth, finally able to push in and out without much resistance. “You’re ruining this for me!” He said. His breathing was short, quick breaths. His pace quickened, and that was a sign that he was close. He would shove my head down when he made me give him a blowjob. His body shook in pleasure, and his head fell back as he moaned. “Now to make you-”

               WHAM.

               Mr. H crumbled to the floor.

               My head turned, and through my blurry vision, I saw someone. The last person I’d ever expect. “S-Shinra?” My voice squeaked. My surprise was quickly overrun with bad thoughts. He knows. That means something could happen to the twins. That means I’ll be labeled as the whore who seduced her teacher. My life is crumbling around me.

               Shinra grabbed the scissors on the desk, cutting my hand free. “I lied, earlier. I had seen the way Mr. H treated you in the classroom. And then I followed you here,” he said, smiling softly at me. Shinra turned his head away as I buttoned up my top and slid off the desk.

               “Why are you here?” I asked, holding my arms around myself even though I was now covered. He’ll want something. They all want something.

               He smiled again, bigger this time. “I’m being the hero! Saving the damsel in distress!” He saluted awkwardly and then looked down at Mr. H on the floor. “Man, I hit him hard, didn’t I?” He poked him with his foot.

               The silence was broken up by another presence. “What’s your emergency now, Shinra?” Izaya stood in the doorway, pausing as he took in the scene. His eyes met mine, already filling in all the blanks from my avoidance of him in the past two years. “I’ll deal with it.” That was the only thing he said on the matter before Shinra escorted me outside.

               Shinra insisted on walking me home. “Izaya had mentioned you were hiding something, but he hadn’t tried to figure it out. I wish he had,” he said, trying to fill the awkward space between us. He’s seen me naked and being raped by a teacher. It must be strange for him, too.

               Stopping at a crosswalk, I finally spoke to him. “Do you still want to practice with me?”  I asked.

               There was no reason why I asked that question. But, after Shinra saved me, I wanted to repay him, I guess. We became closer friends in the following months. After everything that I’d been through for so long, it ended so abruptly. Mr. H disappeared, and Izaya never told me what happened after I left that apartment. He could have killed him. It didn’t matter. I would never be rid of Mr. H. Because he left something else with me, that caused me to drop out for almost a year.


End file.
